'Get the hell out of my way'

With much ballyhoo and fanfare, the folks in Washington, D.C., have announced they will stimulate the economy as fast as they can — mailing out checks to each of us in the amount of $600 or $300 or somewhere in between, starting in May but most certainly by July.

This is lightning fast by their standards. Of course, there is a way to move faster: Instead of having our wage-masters seize a portion of our earnings before we ever see it, writing checks and mailing us back the money, the feds could suspend withholding for whatever length of time is necessary for us to accumulate an additional $600 or $300 or whatever.

That plan has the advantage of shocking us into recognizing exactly how much of our cash is held back every week or two. But they probably would prefer we not recognize that.